dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
