Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
