at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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