let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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