yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
