3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
