If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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