i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have tasted many bathrooms
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
