That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
