the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
