Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
