Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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