Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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