The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
