Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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