And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
