He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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