I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
home. puking in laundry basket.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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