Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
