He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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