Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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