is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
