Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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