summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
