I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Houston, we have a squirter
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
