I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
