I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
wow bdsm is so cute
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
