Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
