in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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