I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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