Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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