dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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