shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
