I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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