You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am mentally ready for anal.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
