I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
