Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
