So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize