I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
