just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
