Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
