it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
