She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
