can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
