I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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