Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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