i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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