Princesses don't give blow jobs
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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