if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
