would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
