you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
