Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
