I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
