Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
