Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize