You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
