you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize