WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
