Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
