No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
