honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
