I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
