he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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