It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
