u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
