Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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