There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
