hell yes lets make some ravioli
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
