Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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