dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
