I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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