You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize